Finish an act while playing on Hardcore Mode.
Listen to a different kind of narrator while you play.
Complete an act with every single modifier enabled.
Deflate the first boss in under 30 seconds.
Take down the developers.
Ride "Burrito" the Dog into the sunset.
Face Death and live to tell the tale.
Complete all acts in a play without ever dropping to one heart.
Walk amongst the dead.
Find a way to kill an undead puppet.
Kill 18,675,309,000 Skeletons.
Remember the time you scorned a woman.
Possess a lush, full beard.
Crash into someone's house uninvited.
Shoot all the cans in the Prologue.
Spend a whole chunk of money in the bonus store.
Buy an achievement from the bonus store.
Reach a Gold Medal score on a single act.
Survive an epic battle against a kite.
Ride a rocket over a battlefield.
Kill 100 enemies while strapped to a rocket in "The Great Wall of Vengeance".
Find the Great Wall of China in an unexpected place.
Get close and personal with the Madam.
Take Andrew Jackson to the Madam's district.
Commit mass destruction with a paddleboat.
See things that you will never be able to unsee.
Find a place to saw some logs.
Get a crazy high kill streak.
Take down Big Oil.
Carjack a stagecoach.
Find an achievement hidden in a piece of concept art.
Visit the Download Content screen to see what new content is available.
Fall thousands of feet without dying.
Complete a level with "Lefty Mode" enabled.
Close your bank account.
Hoard all the tacos and hearts in an act.
End an artist's career.
Earn cash, not health, for every heart in an act.
In a shootout, play chicken with a bullet before shooting it.
Destroy the advertising plan of a small business.
Defy laws of physics by shooting more than six enemies without reloading.
Don't scratch the paint while piloting a paddleboat.
Reach the end of "Requiem for a Gunstringer" without losing a single heart.
Complete an act with a friend.
Collect a gold medal, hardcore award, and 2P award in a single act.
Win gold medals in all acts of a single play.
Win a gold medal in every act of every play.
Purchase everything in the bonus store.
Beat every play in one session. On Hardcore Mode. Also, never die.
Do something really awesome.
Buy "Real Big Shootin'" and get a free achievement!
Live out a childhood fantasy.
Beat a friend in 2 Player mode.
Kill 10 Jetpack Outlaws with one shot.
Slice 10 ducks with one shot.
Earn a Real Big Score.
Do some Real Big Shootin' and get a Real Big Multiplier.
Beat every type of special condition.
Complete every unique round in Real Big Shootin'.
Do some Real Big Shootin' without getting hit.
Purchase "El Diablo's Merican Adventure" for a free achievement!
Find the location of El Diablo's future bride.
Get El Diablo hitched.
Don't harm any innocents while on your adventure.
Don't let a single enemy escape your wrath!
Shoot every type of innocent at least once.
Destroy 100 pieces of furniture.
Juggle a cow a dozen times.
Juggle a cow 30 times.
Don't let a juggled cow hit the ground for 30 seconds.
