Go on a date with Hellfire.
Dismember 50 enemies with cannonballs.
Save a princess. Doesn't get more classic than that.
Protect humanity's treasures from invaders with no taste.
Discover Fulbert's great invention.
Assist a couple of young ladies out hunting.
Find out what happened to the English airman.
Use the mininuke to eliminate 100 enemies at once.
Assist Dr. Vermetti in his war on worms.
Sign Secchi's rifle.
Get a weaponized black hole, using science.
Make 20 enemies kill each other using Psychotropic Grenades.
Kill 100 enemies with a headshot.
Send Mental a message he won't forget.
Beat the game on any difficulty.
Kill an Aludran Reptiloid using nothing but a pistol.
Kill 50 healthy Kleers with a direct double shotgun hit.
Escape the Oil Rig.
Unlock 10 S.A.M.s in a single playthrough.
Finish a text adventure. On an oil rig. During an alien invasion.
Get justice. Get the Holy Grail. Get screwed over.
Navigate the citadel of Carcassonne. Start reassembling your team.
What if you could talk to the monsters?
Kill a Witchbride using C4.
Achievement is your middle name.
Cross the French countryside and get very cross.
Kill 20 enemies while dual wielding double shotguns.
Don't fear the reaper. Be the reaper.
Harvest 100 enemies with a combine harvester.
Melee a big enemy.
Ride the Popemobile to victory.
Destroy 10 propaganda drones.
Kill a Belcher using Belcher collateral barf damage.
One-shot kill 3 Werebulls with a shotgun.
Kill 5 enemies in a row while your health is below 10 HP.
Meet a powerful granny.
Make sure Gabriella is OK.
Party like it's 199.
Kill 11 different enemies using melee attacks.
Head into Rome. Ditch Rodriguez.
Run away from an angry volcano you foolishly antagonized.
Collect scorched aliens for Professor Kiesel.
Die HAARP With A Vengeance.
Kill 5 enemies during a single Time Warp slowdown.
Recover the alien artifact located by Dr. Stein.
Find out what happened to Alessandro.
Recover a key stolen by a cultist.
Get together with your friends and kill something big.
Fight alongside Massimo Murena.
Unlock a S.A.M.
Save the rookie. Find Father Mikhail. See the sights.
Kill 3 enemies with a double shotgun blast.
Get knocked on the head and remember how you got here.
Spend 1000 minigun rounds while firing continuously.
