Escape the Oil Rig.
Get justice. Get the Holy Grail. Get screwed over.
Go on a date with Hellfire.
Dismember 50 enemies with cannonballs.
Navigate the citadel of Carcassonne. Start reassembling your team.
Kill a Belcher using Belcher collateral barf damage.
What if you could talk to the monsters?
Cross the French countryside and get very cross.
Kill 20 enemies while dual wielding double shotguns.
One-shot kill 3 Werebulls with a shotgun.
Don't fear the reaper. Be the reaper.
Ride the Popemobile to victory.
Meet a powerful granny.
Party like it's 199.
Head into Rome. Ditch Rodriguez.
Run away from an angry volcano you foolishly antagonized.
Collect scorched aliens for Professor Kiesel.
Die HAARP With A Vengeance.
Recover the alien artifact located by Dr. Stein.
Recover a key stolen by a cultist.
Get together with your friends and kill something big.
Spend 1000 minigun rounds while firing continuously.
Fight alongside Massimo Murena.
Unlock a S.A.M.
Kill 3 enemies with a double shotgun blast.
Save the rookie. Find Father Mikhail. See the sights.
Kill 5 enemies in a row while your health is below 10 HP.
Get knocked on the head and remember how you got here.
Send Mental a message he won't forget.
Beat the game on any difficulty.
Unlock 10 S.A.M.s in a single playthrough.
Finish a text adventure. On an oil rig. During an alien invasion.
Destroy 10 propaganda drones.
Save a princess. Doesn't get more classic than that.
Achievement is your middle name.
Protect humanity's treasures from invaders with no taste.
Discover Fulbert's great invention.
Assist a couple of young ladies out hunting.
Find out what happened to the English airman.
Harvest 100 enemies with a combine harvester.
Make sure Gabriella is OK.
Sign Secchi's rifle.
Get a weaponized black hole, using science.
Melee a big enemy.
Kill 5 enemies during a single Time Warp slowdown.
Find out what happened to Alessandro.
Use the mininuke to eliminate 100 enemies at once.
Kill 100 enemies with a headshot.
Kill an Aludran Reptiloid using nothing but a pistol.
Kill 11 different enemies using melee attacks.
Kill 50 healthy Kleers with a direct double shotgun hit.
Kill a Witchbride using C4.
Make 20 enemies kill each other using Psychotropic Grenades.
Assist Dr. Vermetti in his war on worms.
