Close your bank account.
Defy laws of physics by shooting more than six enemies without reloading.
End an artist's career.
In a shootout, play chicken with a bullet before shooting it.
Destroy the advertising plan of a small business.
Find a place to saw some logs.
See things that you will never be able to unsee.
Commit mass destruction with a paddleboat.
Take Andrew Jackson to the Madam's district.
Get close and personal with the Madam.
Find the Great Wall of China in an unexpected place.
Ride a rocket over a battlefield.
Survive an epic battle against a kite.
Crash into someone's house uninvited.
Possess a lush, full beard.
Remember the time you scorned a woman.
Kill 18,675,309,000 Skeletons.
Find a way to kill an undead puppet.
Walk amongst the dead.
Face Death and live to tell the tale.
Ride "Burrito" the Dog into the sunset.
Earn cash, not health, for every heart in an act.
Take down the developers.
Complete all acts in a play without ever dropping to one heart.
Hoard all the tacos and hearts in an act.
Get a crazy high kill streak.
Deflate the first boss in under 30 seconds.
Don't scratch the paint while piloting a paddleboat.
Kill 100 enemies while strapped to a rocket in "The Great Wall of Vengeance".
Reach the end of "Requiem for a Gunstringer" without losing a single heart.
Listen to a different kind of narrator while you play.
Complete an act with a friend.
Visit the Download Content screen to see what new content is available.
Shoot all the cans in the Prologue.
Complete a level with "Lefty Mode" enabled.
Finish an act while playing on Hardcore Mode.
Reach a Gold Medal score on a single act.
Complete an act with every single modifier enabled.
Collect a gold medal, hardcore award, and 2P award in a single act.
Win gold medals in all acts of a single play.
Buy an achievement from the bonus store.
Find an achievement hidden in a piece of concept art.
Spend a whole chunk of money in the bonus store.
Win a gold medal in every act of every play.
Purchase everything in the bonus store.
Beat every play in one session. On Hardcore Mode. Also, never die.
Do something really awesome.
Buy "Real Big Shootin'" and get a free achievement!
Live out a childhood fantasy.
Beat a friend in 2 Player mode.
Kill 10 Jetpack Outlaws with one shot.
Slice 10 ducks with one shot.
Earn a Real Big Score.
Fall thousands of feet without dying.
Do some Real Big Shootin' and get a Real Big Multiplier.
Beat every type of special condition.
Complete every unique round in Real Big Shootin'.
Do some Real Big Shootin' without getting hit.
Purchase "El Diablo's Merican Adventure" for a free achievement!
Find the location of El Diablo's future bride.
Get El Diablo hitched.
Don't harm any innocents while on your adventure.
Don't let a single enemy escape your wrath!
Shoot every type of innocent at least once.
Carjack a stagecoach.
Destroy 100 pieces of furniture.
Juggle a cow a dozen times.
Juggle a cow 30 times.
Don't let a juggled cow hit the ground for 30 seconds.
Take down Big Oil.
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